You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
