She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize