new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
We just shotgunned beers for America
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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