girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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