How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
