we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Randomize
