i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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