what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
