Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
