I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
