the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
You're like the curious george of whores
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
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