I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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