Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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