he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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