i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
