I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Everything about him screamed your future.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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