Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
