It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
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