At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
