I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
