I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
