I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
