It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
