I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
