I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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