We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
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