I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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