My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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