even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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