Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
