TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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