No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Randomize
