Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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