What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Randomize
