fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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