They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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