Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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