I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize