how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize