Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
