He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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