Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
