we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Randomize
