Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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