Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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