that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
