go do what you do best...puke behind churches
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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