he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Randomize
