he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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