I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
