So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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