oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Randomize
