shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
