I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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