someone threw a dead crab at me
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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