I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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