I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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