Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
