i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
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