He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
