that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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