Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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