new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Randomize
