Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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