Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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