I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
