i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
