he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
